The Struggles Of My Carnal Self To Take Back The Control Of My Life …
From My Presence in My beloved Thia’s journal—A dialog between thia/Basilia and Master Yahuwah/ Yahushua!
Saturday, February 07, 2015 at 2:03 pm
Father, You have heard my complain. I know my complaint has not fallen on deaf ears! You know that I had enough once again, of my despair there seems to be no end!
Even so, the way I think You are showing it to me is the fact that I am still looking for the honor from man! From this day forth my Father, I’ll quit this futile longing for somebody to honor me!
Why should anybody honor me when I am not different that the rest—all I do is talk and talk just like all humans do!
For with all my talk there is not any sign of the veracity of my words! In addition I am falling into the stupid idea that I am different than the rest! Even so, am I different?
Maybe I am when I stay within my limits of proclaiming their sins to the people, and of course, I am one of those people and it all applies to me as well, plus, You have instructed for me to do so!
The problem is when I set myself up & continue on & on stagnating myself in a state & condition that You have not meant for me!
All of that said, You are my judge and You have the right to judge & convict & discipline me according to Your loving will!
Father, I accept this agony that I am going through as Your discipline to teach me not to expect the honor from man. Father, I repent in dust and ashes! Do unto me as it is Your will to do!
Even so, You know my Father that I have not intentions to ever again conform to any at all of the ways of the world, no matter what I will not go back to my former life to honor man ahead of You!
Sunday, February 08, 2015 at 12:27 am
Father, please, what is happening to me? Am I guilty of whatever I do not know, please my Father, show me the way. I am angry, I am disgusted, I am tired and I am sick of my carnal self along with the carnal self in others!
I refuse to give way to my carnal lusts for attention and for love and for understanding and for pampering and for the insidious wanting to control others!
People don’t understand me and I don’t understand people! Why don’t I let people be? Why people don’t let me be? There is always that insidious want to help and be helped.
And it all would be OK if we could just help and let it go! But no! We want to help and make sure that our help is productive otherwise we go to pieces!
And that’s where I am—angry because my help is no longer needed nor it was ever accepted even when it was and it is much needed!
I like to think that I am angry because they have rejected Your Presence within me, but, I am just beginning to see that I am angry because I feel like a fool! Yeap! That’s the case! And now I know!
Sunday, February 08, 2015 at 4:21 am
O Father, what to do about it? Ah! But Your answer has not changed! To trust and obey the One You sent is all You require from any of us!
But what to do with these horrible and disgusting feelings that disturb all the goodness of Your Presence within us? What to do about the anger that escalates to the highest high every time that the carnal self do not get its way?
“O My child, be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil. In other words, When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no such room or foothold for the devil, give no opportunity to him to get a hold on you.
My child, it is not a sin to be angry and to vent out your wrath as loud & clear as you may! The sin lies in the opposite: to withhold your anger inside your being and let it turn into a murderous rancor damaging to you and to the object of your wrath!
Furthermore, My child, it is not really about your does or don’ts. It’s all about the humbly submission of your being to Me—submission of your being to Me IS what obedience and trust are all about!
This is the matter that I aim to convey to all of My children as you bring to me all of your doings on the daily basis—be your doings good or bad or in between the only thing that counts is that you have submitted it all to Me!
Even more so My child, My children must come to understand that all the ritualistic prayers & mode of worship are truly an abomination in My sight!
For it is not about religion or any human device to practice goodness or badness, but, it is all about being born again of My nature and establishing a relationship with Me!
This is the matter My child that I aim to convey to all in all that I give you to record in the journal of your life in My Presence.
Rejoice and be glad for the task I have entrusted unto you, you are performing it to My delight and I will accomplish much through those writings!”
O my Father! The wrath that crossed my path in the last few days is gone! In its place there is peace flowing like a river in my soul! Ha! Ha! HalleluYah!
His love in my heart for all, thia/Basilia