So, what? You are in control of it all. You never promised me a bed of roses without thorns. You clearly let me know what to expect from the human element. Just as clear You have let me know of Your providence for me and all of my concern. All of my concern? Surely, all of my concern includes not only Ahmad and my children and family but also, the multitude that have crossed my path one way or the other.
Strange dream or was it a vision?
Wednesday, October 26, 2016 at 2:49 pm
O my Father—O Father of mine? What is the meaning of that empty depressing house that I saw in my dream? I went to bed because I was drowsy. I asked You to speak to me in my dream. I dozed. I found myself standing in an open picture window. I held on to the frame of the window. I looked inside of the house. Tall walls. Dirty carpet. A man sitting in some elevated chair with his feet extended. He was talking on the phone. He finished his talk. Perhaps I asked if that was his house. I understood he was a school principal. He lived there with his mom and sister. I asked about a wife. He kind of squirmed around but did not answer. I woke up.
The way I am feeling right now? Perhaps as empty and depressed as that house looked. I cannot continue writing about dreams, O my Father—O Father of mine, You know it. There is no evidence or proof that in fact You are speaking to me. The only indication to this moment is that I am still the same as I used to be—Bipolar.
Unless You prove to me that it is not so, I cannot continue writing. I’ll just stay right here and see what my fate shall be. Whatever, I am 77 years old so I should not have long to wait for my death.
You know that I am not looking for fame & fortune. By no means I intent to promote things to satisfy the carnal self. All I want is to promote the message that You have for the whole world. I can do that with humor. I can do it with poetry. I can do it with challenging articles. Articles to get Your children populating this world to reconsider their way. I can do it sharing my journal. I can do all of it by Your power of love from on high, through the medium You are making available for me—could be the Reader’s Digest Magazine or the whole world of successful copywriters. Otherwise, I do not want to do anything at all.