Me? Sometimes for the most I am intense in the task You have given unto me. Other times the bleak moment I am passing through gets the best of me. Momentarily I feel the blunt of the attack to my mind & body. Momentarily the pressure of isolation gets unbearable to the point of squirming in despair and poor old me. Then, it all passes by me until who knows when, the bleakness returns.
So, what? You are in control of it all. You never promised me a bed of roses without thorns. You clearly let me know what to expect from the human element. Just as clear You have let me know of Your providence for me and all of my concern. All of my concern? Surely, all of my concern includes not only Ahmad and my children and family but also, the multitude that have crossed my path one way or the other.
Strange dream or was it a vision?
Wednesday, October 26, 2016 at 2:49 pm
O my Father—O Father of mine? What is the meaning of that empty depressing house that I saw in my dream? I went to bed because I was drowsy. I asked You to speak to me in my dream. I dozed. I found myself standing in an open picture window. I held on to the frame of the window. I looked inside of the house. Tall walls. Dirty carpet. A man sitting in some elevated chair with his feet extended. He was talking on the phone. He finished his talk. Perhaps I asked if that was his house. I understood he was a school principal. He lived there with his mom and sister. I asked about a wife. He kind of squirmed around but did not answer. I woke up.
The way I am feeling right now? Perhaps as empty and depressed as that house looked. I cannot continue writing about dreams, O my Father—O Father of mine, You know it. There is no evidence or proof that in fact You are speaking to me. The only indication to this moment is that I am still the same as I used to be—Bipolar.