Journal—An ongoing dialog between thia/Basilia and Master Yahuwah/Yahushua. …
Friday, May 12, 2017 at 6:43 am
O my Father—O Father of mine? It looks like people got so much grammar and knowledge under their skull, it is impossible for them to accommodate one more single character much less too many exclamation marks. Let them be. I can’t let it disturb me. I am going on. Marks or not. Grammatically or aesthetically correct or not. Your words I must post. Otherwise? All hope could be lost.
Friday, May 12, 2017 at 11:33 am
Down I am. Stuck on my thoughts. What is it going to take for the people to Your call to respond? Second day alone with such thoughts. Lift me up. O lift me up, my Father, lift me up!
What am I to expect? Have not conception in that respect. You the One Who set up the authorities over me. You the One Who tells me I must respect the authorities. Are those authorities failing me? Or am failing to respect those authorities? Am I wanting to control? Am I in distress because You won’t let such control of me get a hold?
I must obey Your words to me, but! The controlling thoughts won’t rest to my distress. I want free to be. O wretched me! I cannot myself set free! Lift me up. O lift me up, my Father, lift me up!
Friday, May 12, 2017 at 5:07 pm
Father? Perhaps what I am striving with is, again, the issues You do not resolve for me on the dot! How dare I? But that seems to be the case. Over & over the same tedious issue. “I am down! Do something to get me up!” Never once realizing the impertinence of the mandate. Who am I? The clay mandating the Potter?
O my Father—O Father of mine? Thanks for Your everlasting patience with this child of Yours. Thanks for this private place where I can pitch my fits for Your eyes only. Thanks for setting me from codependency on Ahmad or anyone else. What? Where that word ‘codependency’ popped into my mind and then unto the keyboard?
That word so freely used in my psychiatric treatment time, not once before now, the thought of it came into my mind.
Definition of codependency
: a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (such as an addiction to alcohol or heroin); broadly : dependence on the needs of or control by another
So that’s what this whole episode been about. So that’s been the hold up between Ahmad & I? Wow! What a revelation! And how timely!
- The truth to set me free dawn on me.
- Perhaps, just perhaps that’s the sneaky hold keeping so many in the shackles of unforgiveness! Wow!
I freely pitched my fit. “I can’t forgive Ahmad!” I shouted up high!
