Journal—An ongoing dialog between thia/Basilia and Master Yahuwah/Yahushua. …
Tuesday, July 18, 2017 at 3:42 am
Father? As always, I need You. I must learn to ask. I must learn to listen. Yes, I ask, but! Then? I practically give the answer to my question. It is impossible for me to hold back. Though that most human beings consider their problems to be different and unique, they are not. Why my caretakers held me back all those years? Because this thing of not letting me know right at the beginning that my problem was not unique. Never mind. They din’t let me know because I had to find it out for my own self! In Father’s time.
My problem was the same problem as other humans’ problems. Control! We human beings must take control of our lives or die trying. Generalization? Hum! O my Father, help! Of what use is it for me to confess my guilt? Who am I kidding? Civilization has advanced to the point that everybody that is somebody is now in control not only of their own lives but! In control of as many souls anybody can convince to take control.
Father? Deliver me! You are in control of every minute detail of my life. I refuse to take that control back. I am disturbed because, I talk, talk, and talk. I do not give the other person any time. I do not ask questions. I just give answers non-stop. Yes, I know I must ask and listen, but! Unless You take control of my tongue, how can I deal with the human’s carnal rhetoric of their doings?
Sometimes in one sentence they expose their pride of whatever they do or not do. Likewise, I do my own self in their estimation. They don’t understand that I am only confessing my fault to go on and tell how You deal with me. Why can I not remain quiet? Why can I not hold my tongue and let them go on with their pitiful rhetoric? Hold my tongue? Not stand up for truth? Could it be I am trying to exalt my egoic nature? Trying to look good to whomever? Hum!
Tuesday, July 18, 2017 at 5:46 am
Pausing. Reflecting. Thinking of the words You speak to me. You tell me to be as human as You have created me to be, but! Not to act independent of You. You also tell me that You delight in my obedience not matter the cost to me. You tell that Your delight in my obedience is my strength. You also tell me that You love Your children, but You hate their self-righteousness.