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Journal—An ongoing dialog between thia/Basilia and Master Yahuwah/Yahushua. …
Thursday, August 3, 2017 at 2:34 am
Father? You have separated me for Your service. You know that I don’t know what am I doing. I refuse to take things in my own hands to make things happen. My heart desire is to wait on You. Even so, the money situation for my keep is under trial every month. Every month is a nightmare! My expenses are higher than my income. The problem?
Instead of lowering my expenses I am back to my dependence in whatever extra comes my way from my children. That is not what it ought to be as per Your instructions.
You have changed my attitude towards all things including money. You are leading me all the way. I have no doubt about Your leading. I know You are showing me the solution to this money problem as well as the problem with my health, but! Ahmad is not in agreement with the solution You are showing to me. What to do? I will follow Your lead with confidence and trust in You. Starting today, I will set apart 10% of my income as per Your instructions in, Malachi 3:1-18.
Thursday, August 3, 2017 8:34 am
Father? Let the tears flow from my lachrymal glands. You need to wash my soul. The evil doings of our carnal natures are enough not just to cry but to weep about. Ah! But we are so clever to device all kinds of props to hide our evilness. What? How dare I bring this matter to light amid the colossal tide of seemingly peace, unconditional love, love of oneself, finding the true self, considering the self to be the epitome of goodness?
Father? I intend to fast and let You cleanse not only my body but mainly my soul. I need You. But You know it, my Father. There is no way in this world to get rid of our mistaken tone of distrust and despair. There is no way in this world for us to separate the PRECIOUS from the VILE. Unless You do the cleansing of my OWN heart from unworthy and unwarranted suspicions concerning Your faithfulness, I labor in vain.