Wednesday, December 13, 2017 at 2:44 am.
Father? Here I am. As if You didn’t know it, but! Sometimes I feel like You don’t know I am here having me a difficult and trying time.
Other times? You descend upon and talk Your words of approval or instruction. Then? You go away. I am left alone in this world of my own.
Am I to remember Your words of approval and do as You bid me to do? Indeed! You go away, but! You never leave nor forsake me. From Your throne in my heart, You keep an eye on me.
How am I doing? Do I remember Your words of approval? Am I tending to Your instructions? Yes, but! For whatever reason I go on a tangent? Shame and misery invade my being.
HELP! Goes my shrilling cry. Down to my world’s grounds, again Your voice in my soul resounds. Courage. Confidence. Certainty. Undaunted my gait resumes.
Big or tiny questions. Big or tiny frustrations. Whopping disappointments always in the making. Wonderfully Simple and Delightfully effortlessly my gait steady sounds on my world’s grounds.
Singing and praising and joyfully walking and leaping, fearless I’m going on and on, regardless! O my Father? Your grace and favor to me? Beyond a human imagination for sure I must endure.
The truth? O how well that truth Your Spirit within my being grieves. What gives? The human mind’s inability to see the splendor of Your simple ways.
What’s with the human mind? Only I, me, and mine ye shall find! “I got the oil!” “I paid for one year’s supply!” I got. I paid! I did! Blah! Blah! Blah! Ahmad goes on and on with his conquest’s greatest.
The person who has My commands and keeps them is the one who [really] loves Me…
Me? What am I doing, my Father? What am I doing? Am I pointing my finger? Am I disappointed because, for the most? Of bragging I cannot boast? Do I want to show You or me off?
O my Father how can I judge and condemn my Ahmad? There but by Your grace and favor in Ahmad? I see myself! We are both human beings. Have mercy, O my Father have mercy! Goes my cry.
What can I hope for, my Father? It’s a new day. Can I hope for You revealing Yourself to me again today? What can I hope for, O my Father!