I am in distress again, but! You know it. I don’t know which way to turn. The hurt is back. I hurt all over. It’s quite alarming.
- Maybe I poisoned myself again drinking rehashed mixtures and rehashed food.
- Maybe I’m just stressed out. Overwhelmed with the work ahead of me. I don’t know. I just don’t know.
- Maybe my body is in detox. I don’t know.
Even So? You Promised No Harm Should Come To Me ….?
Whatever is meant to harm me You shall turn it for my good. I refuse to despair. I wait on You. Sooner or later You will lift me over this miserable moment. Maybe I should go back to bed. Hope for sleep?
It’s almost midnight. I am heading for bed and hope for the best.
Same Question, “Where Are You?”
Monday, September 17, 2018 at 5:04 am.
Father? I woke up after 4 am with the same question, where are You? I know You are right here with me, but!
I can’t understand this bout with pain on the daily basis. You gift sleep to me. This time? Four hours.
How Can Anyone Understand ….?
Four hours of deep sleep. Then? You wake me up while You communicate such wonders of great abundance coming to me, but!
The present time of waiting and suffering remain with me, and? I feel like crying because I don’t see or feel You.
How can anyone understand this wonder of my relationship with You? How can anyone understand this amazing experience? No matter.
Nothing Matters But You …?
You are my Master—my Beloved Master. Your will and Your desire for me is all that matters. I am going on. Joyfully and victoriously I am going on!
You are leading me on above the thorns and thistles of pain and suffering in the way. You are my Shepherd. I shall not want for the abundance soon to materialize in the presence of the enemy.
I wait. With patient endurance, I wait on You. That abundance You signified to me in those new purple trousers?
It’s a sign of my inherited royalty You will soon materialize. You presented it to me as I woke up this new day around 4 am.
What Is Today?
Today is my day. The day You are gifting to me. I woke up at the 4th hour on the 17th day of the 9th month. What it all means?
“O thiaBasilia—O Child Of My Heart? Like the lily among thorns, so are you, My love, among the daughters.”
O my Father! You know how difficult it is for me et all to assimilate such romanticism as portrayed in those words of Yours. Why?
Romanticism Is A Thing Of The Flesh ….?
Because romanticism is a thing of the flesh. It’s taken in the eyes of the human as lust and lewdness, yet? Your words are written.
Your Mighty Purity ….?
How can I reconcile this matter with the immense reality of Your mighty purity far away from the filth that humans have made out love into lust and lewdness?
My Silly Wish For A Eunuch Husband?
Ha! What is it that I am hearing my Father? What are You bringing to mind? Could it my silly wish for a eunuch husband?
“O thiaBasilia—O Child Of My Heart? You are simply beautiful. Yes, My precious child, your silly wish is My desire for the perfect marriage for you even at your age.