I’m very tired. Need to rest. Will finish this post later. Unless you help me ? I no longer know what to do or where to turn for help.
Saturday, June 8, 2019 at 12:45 am.
This is one of the worst moments I am going through. I am hurting so bad that I can’t sleep. I find myself sleeping in front of the screen. I go to bed? Pain. No way to get comfortable to sleep.
What Gives? I Am Not Renewed? …
Saturday, June 8, 2019 at 7:12 am.
Yes! I have questioned my renewal, why not? In the agony of worse pain than before, it’s only natural to question matters, but!
The Unseen Beauty From The Natural Realm? Wow!
Dear Reader, I will give you a bulleted summary of how this renewal of mine has been on the making for the last 45 years since 1974 when I discover the Scriptures.
It took all those years for me to fling away my idols. To say to all my idols, ‘Be gone’!
Here is the promised list:
- The year was 1974—I discovered the Scriptures. Got into the unknown spiritual realm. Lost my mind. Stopped reading the Scriptures.
- The year was 1979—amazing healing experience from deep wound inflicted upon me in my childhood. The result? Regained my physical health. Back in the Scriptures.
- The year was 1983—Gruesome divorce. Felt apart. Lost hope. Lost all morals. Hit the top of immoral living.
- The year was 1985—Suddenly! Unexpectedly! My whole life was run like a film strip in my view. What did I realize as I viewed the film? I had gone through life unaware of the secret saving power of the Spirit of the Almighty Creator of my being, taking everything and everybody for granted without consideration of anything other than my own understanding of life, and the raw feelings of my emotions. Restored, A second mental breakdown. Called to journal my life, but! Did not listen.
- The year was 1986—convicted. Power to quit it my work. Power to listen.
- The year was 1987—began new life under my gifted mentor. Began to journal my life consistently.
- The year was 1992—saddest year for me, my mentor died. I became lost. I felt abandoned. Back to my old life of family and church.
- The year was 1994—bought property. Became sort of independent. Happy time.
- The year was 1995—depression treatment? Electric shocks. Almost destroyed me. My daughter rescued me, but that’s the year my prescription drug addiction began.
- The year was 1999—inspired to go live with family. Sold my property. Things did not work out. I felt spiritually dead.
- The year was 2001—back on my own again. Got beautiful apartment, but! Got involved in helping seniors instead of my call to journal my life as instructed to do.
- The year was 2007—that’s the year I dropped unconscious, victim of misdiagnose. Rushed to the emergency room at the point of death. Convicted. Repented. Restored.
- The year was 2008—called to go to the ‘lost sheep of Israel. Power to accept the call.
- The year was 2009—called to get out of the USA. Destination? The wilderness of people to judge me face to face.
- The year was 2015—call to go with my gifted son Ahmad. He is to be my authority while we wait for Yahushua’s return.
- The year was 2017—got the roof apartment of my dreams. My renewed life began.
- The year is now 2019—WOW! What a year it has been. This is to be the year of our jubilee, but! O well?
It Surely Doesn’t Look Like Jubilee At All! But!
The Almighty Creator is in control of His creation. I am committed and submitted to Him as my supreme Authority. He has declared me to be His messenger. So?
It Does Not Matter How It Looks To Us …
Us? Ahmad and I. We are going through the worst times that anyone can go through. The banks are closed here in Amman, Jordan until Monday. We are unable to get the monies needed for my support.
Perhaps, That’s Not A Big Deal To Many, But To Us?
Though that we are patiently waiting? Myself more than Ahmad tremble to think of the implications when banks close—something that it’s prophesied it will happen.
Behold! The Importance To Prepare …
How are we to prepare? Mainly spiritually—we must kiss or submit to the Son (Psalms 2). Then? What is to be done in the physical comes second.
Not My Ideas Or Predictions At All. Only A Fact As It Is Written …
Many are preparing physically, but that shall be of no avail if the spiritual is not done. The subject for future posts.