O My Father—O Father Of Mine? You know all about Your purpose and plan for these writings. Whether I sound pretensions or not? True or false? It’s Your plan to make it known to all.
Me? You Know I Can’t Take Much More …
Between suffering the consequences of my human reactions to fly/flies to ants annoying me while awake or sleep, plus the troubles between Ahmad and me? I am simply worn out. At my wits end again.
Even So? You Are Holding Me Up. I Cannot Jump Ship …?
I am staying put. Sometimes sober. Sometimes I lose it. For the most? Busy searching my writings for files I cannot find, but! One thing I know for sure.
Under No Circumstances Or Excuses Shall I Ever Use Your Name Or Your Word To Achieve Worldly Success …?
To that end You have drastically dealt with me. I am appalled at my own self’s distasteful hypocrisy! But I am thankful for Your hand of discipline to set me free. A take from Psalms 139. Quote:
You know my down-sitting and my uprising; You understand my thought afar off. [Mat 9:4; Joh 2:24-25]
You sift and search out my path and my lying down, and You are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word in my tongue [still unuttered], but, behold, O Master, You know it altogether. [Heb 4:13]
You have beset me and shut me in–behind and before, and You have laid Your hand upon me.
My Distasteful Hypocrisy In Chasing Millions …
Saturday, September 14, 2019 at 6:46 am.
Reflecting on what I read that jolted me back on my Master’s track? Besides the admonishing to judge myself radically, a quote shone a beam of Your light to really expose that hypocrisy. Quote:
“Ego is the absolute impediment to Dao. The sin is pride. If it thrills you that you’re enlightened then you’re ruined. Forget sharing it. You’re not pure enough to share it.” — Terence McKenna
Even So? It All Comes To Me From Your Hand Of Mercy …
O my Master! I am not any longer thrilled about my enlightenment on the matter of receiving any enticing emails from Ray Edward et all. In fact? I am appalled! But!
Even That—Appalled? Could Be A Thrill Of My Carnal Nature, So? …
Therefore? I quit. I am letting go of everything. Including my thinking. My ideas and concepts. You are filling my mind with the opposite of all of that as You promised to do a long time ago. Quote:
O my Master—my Beloved Yahuweh/Yahushua You spoke to my heart on the morning of August 8, 1985. You said to me at that moment: