I’m going back to bed. Need to reflect. I wait on You. Slept for 3 more hours. Woke up about an hour ago on this next day. My body in pain. My mind at peace.
I Am Not Appealing To Any Human Being For Help. I Am Appealing To You …
Sunday, October 13, 2019 at 2:27 am.
This is to be my year of Jubilee. All my debts forgotten. Yet? The agony of painful misery continues to drive me insane.
No Matter. In Sickness Or In Health I Refuse To Doubt You …?
It’s so easy to believe in You when things are going well, but! With the least twitch of pain? I wail in doubt of You. Even so?
You Are Teaching Me The Difference Between Lip And Genuine Service …
That’s the difference I do not see around me. That’s what troubles me. Master? Where am I at in that issue. Am I concerned with others thinking I am only giving You lip service as I see it done around me?
Ha! I Get It! My Only Concern Should Be Your Approval Of Me …
Wow! How easy it is to stumble on the trap of human’s approval. The fear of rejection is innate in my human nature. Wow!
So? That’s The Fear That Troubles Me With Ahmad’s Absence …
And that’s what I have not been able to see until now that You are revealing it to me. Funny thing! When things go well between Ahmad and me that fear lurks away, but! It remains at bay, until?
The Next Negative Episode Pops Up …?
It’s been a vicious circle not only with my gifted son but with all my relationships in the past. And here is fitting to talk about the new trend of ‘Unconditional Love’.
‘Unconditional Love’ The Human’s Solution To Human’s Rejection …
Wow! The wounds we inflict upon each other because of the fear of rejection are monumental to the point of insanity.
‘Unconditional Love’ Is The Insane Reaction To The Fear Of Rejection …
Wow! So that’s how I am to expose this monstrous issue that’s on fire from all angles of the human life. The worst of it all?
To Confuse Moral Laws And Conditions With Tyranny and You …?
How far from the Loving Mighty One that You are, but! That does not rattle Your Mighty love and unfathomable wisdom to create and discipline or mold us into Your image.
Create And Discipline Or Mold Someone …?
Isn’t that what we parents do with our children? Hahaha! What a revelation! We certainly knock ourselves out to discipline our children in an attempt to mold them in our image.
Unfortunately? Our Children Grow Up To Do Whatever Suits Them To Be The Best …
O my Master! Exactly Your predicament with us Your children doing whatever we think is best. And what is what we think is best is?
Unconditional Love. No Discipline. No Conditions. No Rules …?
Ah but You are not a man that we should judge You like one. Yes, there is a comparison between Your ways and our ways. No doubt about that comparison. Quote:
And have you completely forgotten the sacred word of appeal and encouragement in which you are reasoned with and addressed as sons?