My soul is cast down as it was that October 21, 1986. I’m overwhelmed. Psalms 41-42 come to mind. Those words express more or less the way I am feeling and what I aim to do about it. Quote:
MASTER, I call upon You; hasten to me. Give ear to my voice when I cry to You. Let my prayer be set forth as incense before You, the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice. Set a guard, O Master, before my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips. Incline my heart not to submit or consent to any evil thing or to be occupied in deeds of wickedness with men who work iniquity; and let me not eat of their dainties.
Let the righteous man smite and correct me–it is a kindness. Oil so choice let not my head refuse or discourage; for even in their evils or calamities shall my prayer continue. When their rulers are overthrown in stony places, their followers shall hear my words, that they are sweet (pleasant, mild, and just). The unburied bones of slaughtered rulers shall lie scattered at the mouth of Sheol, as unregarded as the lumps of soil behind the plowman when he breaks open the ground.
But my eyes are toward You, O Yahuwah/Yahushua—my Master; in You do I trust and take refuge; pour not out my life nor leave it destitute and bare.
Keep me from the trap which they have laid for me, and the snares of evildoers. Let the wicked fall together into their own nets, while I pass over them and escape.
AS THE hart pants and longs for the water brooks, so I pant and long for You, O my Master! My inner self thirsts for the Mighty One Of Israel, for the living Mighty One.
When shall I come and behold the face of the Mighty One Of Israel? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, Where is your Mighty One?
These things I earnestly remember and pour myself out within me: how I went slowly before the throng and led them in procession to the house of the Mighty One Of Israel, like a bandmaster before his band, timing the steps to the sound of music and the chant of song, with the voice of shouting and praise, a throng keeping festival.