I’m Eighty But I Sure Don’t Feel My Age …?

I Feel Ageless, But! I Weight Out My Pitiful Stand Among The Young And Strong.

Seniors? Far From The Fountain Of Wisdom We Are To Be Among The Throng.

It’s more of a mud hole that we are among the throng of the young and strong. The seniors’ problem is a sore ashore the sandy beaches of the rich and famous as well as the regular ambitious human to become one of them.

What To Do With Mom And Dad? …

More or less the children take care of mom and dad. They feed, they cloth, they take care of all mom and dad’s physical deficiencies, but! Glean from their wisdom? No time to glean. All time to clean!

Well? At 6:xx Am I Wake Up. Is It Morning Or Night I Don’t See Any Light …?

Get up! Do your thing. Check the inbox for response to the post. What? Two people only responded? But why am I disappointed? Mercy! I’m still hook on human expectations bound to bring me down. Even so?

My Mind Bounces To My Age. I’m Eighty But I Sure Don’t Feel My Age …?

I feel ageless. I go on to think about the many seniors of my acquaintance. I weight out our pitiful stand among the young and strong. Far we are from the fountain of wisdom we could be among the throng.

What Happened, My Master? How Are We In Such Stand In The Land …?

We have become a puddle of mud far from even the resemble of the immensity of Your wisdom You have invested unto us throughout our many years. Heavy thought.

O My Master! What’s Your Purpose For My Waking Up With This Heavy Issue In My Mind …?

Thursday, October 24, 2019 at 8:26 am.

No doubt. There is a lesson You aim to teach me today. I need to tune my ear to Your teaching. I need to reflect on the matter while I take care of my chores this morning.

Alright! Cain Came To Mind …?

What was wrong with Cain’s best? The same thing that is still wrong with my best, it was not what was ordered. How is about if I order apples but I get beautiful fancy oranges instead?

I Get It, My Master! On To Read The Story Of Cain Again …

This time I shall read under Your tutelage—the only way I am now assimilating the true meaning of my life’s history recorded in all written tales from the beginning of our time here on earth.

Genesis 4:3-16

And in the course of time Cain brought to the Master an offering of the fruit of the ground.

And Abel brought of the firstborn of his flock and of the fat portions. And the Master had respect and regard for Abel and for his offering, [Heb 11:4]

But for Cain and his offering He had no respect or regard. So Cain was exceedingly angry and indignant, and he looked sad and depressed.

And the Master said to Cain, Why are you angry? And why do you look sad and depressed and dejected?

If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin crouches at your door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.

And Cain said to his brother, Let us go out to the field. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him. [1Jn 3:12]

And the Master said to Cain, Where is Abel your brother? And he said, I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?

And [the Master] said, What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood is crying to Me from the ground.

And now you are cursed by reason of the earth, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s [shed] blood from your hand.

When you till the ground, it shall no longer yield to you its strength; you shall be a fugitive and a vagabond on the earth [in perpetual exile, a degraded outcast].

Then Cain said to the Master, My punishment is greater than I can bear.

Behold, You have driven me out this day from the face of the land, and from Your face I will be hidden; and I will be a fugitive and a vagabond and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.

And the Master said to him, Therefore, if anyone kills Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Master set a mark or sign upon Cain, lest anyone finding him should kill him.

So Cain went away from the presence of the Master and dwelt in the land of Nod [wandering], east of Eden.

Genesis 6:11-13

The earth was depraved and putrid in the Almighty’s sight, and the land was filled with violence (desecration, infringement, outrage, assault, and lust for power).

And the Almighty looked upon the world and saw how degenerate, debased, and vicious it was, for all humanity had corrupted their way upon the earth and lost their true direction.

The Almighty said to Noah, I intend to make an end of all flesh, for through men the land is filled with violence; and behold, I will destroy them and the land.

What A Lesson For This Day While I Muse In All That I Been Reading …?

Thursday, October 24, 2019 at 11:06 am.

No kidding! It’s no longer boring to read all that far fetched genealogy. But still so much to muse about. Mainly? Where and how do I really and for all practical purposes fit in all of what I am reading?

Behold! The Mighty One Of Israel He’s King Over All!

Thursday, October 24, 2019 at 6:38 pm.

The question still remains, Who then can be saved? If the rich cannot stand even the mention of Your name, how then can we be saved? Quote:

Matthew 19:23-30

And Yahushua said to His disciples, Truly I say to you, it will be difficult for a rich man to get into the kingdom of heaven.

Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go into the kingdom of heaven.

When the disciples heard this, they were utterly puzzled (astonished, bewildered), saying, Who then can be saved [N1from eternal death]?

But Yahushua looked at them and said, With men this is impossible, but all things are possible with the Almighty. [Gen 18:14; Job 42:2]

Then Peter answered Him, saying, Behold, we have left [our] all and have become Your disciples [sided with Your party and followed You]. What then shall we receive?

Yahushua said to them, Truly I say to you, in the new age [the Messianic rebirth of the world], when the Son of Man shall sit down on the throne of His glory, you who have [become My disciples, sided with My party and] followed Me will also sit on twelve thrones and judge the twelve tribes of Israel.

And anyone and everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for My name’s sake will receive many [even a hundred] times more and will inherit eternal life.

But many who [now] are first will be last [then], and many who [now] are last will be first [then]

Continue To Muse On All Read …

O my Master! How can I get excited about those words again? I also read the last two chapters in the Book of Revelations. Honestly, I can no longer get excited when I think about Your promises to me. Why?

How Can I Get Excited My Master When I Read The End Of The Wicked …?

How on earth can I contemplate for one second to see somebody burning and myself enjoying a happy life eternal. It’s a troublesome matter to me.

I See All The Evil Around. You Have Shown It To Me …

Day in and day out I search for signs of repentance, but! All I find is happy faces in a religious as well as in the non-religious world. Laughter is placed ahead of mourning.

You Promised, This Time All Nations Shall Know And Fear Your Name …?

What am I to expect my Master? What do You mean? Will the nations fear Your name enough to repent? I don’t want to think about it all but! I can’t stop my thinking and wailing.

Thanks For Your Peace. The Power Of Your Love And Wisdom Shall Prevail …

The most corrupted practices at the times of Noah are back. Only Your people have chosen to ignore such fact as well as Your warnings about them. Why?

I See It. You are aware of The Plight Of Your People …?

For You know, should Your people pay mind to the evil going on, mental insanity should be even more prevalent than it is now. So? They chose to amuse themselves to preserve their sanity.

But You Have Chosen Some Of Us To Do The Mourning …

What a realization! What an honor! Amazing are Your ways. You have cleansed and healed my mind and body, but! The wailing prevails because You have chosen me to mourn for the ones that fail to do so. Why?

You Aim To Restore Us To The Original Intent For Our Creation, But! …

Unless You intervene with Your example of the work You are doing in my life, many souls would be lost, and? It’s not the will of the Father that You should lose any of all that He has given You. Quote:

John 6:35-39

Yahushua replied, I am the Bread of Life. He who comes to Me will never be hungry, and he who believes in and cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me will never thirst any more (at any time).

But [as] I told you, although you have seen Me, still you do not believe and trust and have faith.

All whom My Father gives (entrusts) to Me will come to Me; and the one who comes to Me I will most certainly not cast out [I will never, no never, reject one of them who comes to Me].

For I have come down from heaven not to do My own will and purpose but to do the will and purpose of Him Who sent Me.

And this is the will of Him Who sent Me, that I should not lose any of all that He has given Me, but that I should give new life and raise [them all] up at the last day.

John 6:63-65

It is the Spirit Who gives life [He is the Life-giver]; the flesh conveys no benefit whatever [there is no profit in it]. The words (truths) that I have been speaking to you are spirit and life.

But [still] some of you fail to believe and trust and have faith. For Jesus knew from the first who did not believe and had no faith and who would betray Him and be false to Him.

And He said, This is why I told you that no one can come to Me unless it is granted him [unless he is enabled to do so] by the Father. End of quote.

Master? I’m Coming To You. Reformatting? Tough Job…

Friday, October 25, 2019 at 4:14 pm.

Perhaps it’s the time of the day. I do need to sleep. I wait on You. Wow! I slept on and off until after 11 pm! I woke up from a dream. Ahmad standing by the window put a brand-new shinny fancy pocketknife in front of me. Amazing meaning!

O My Master! About The Changes Going On In My Relationships …?

Saturday, October 26, 2019 at 12:52 am.

You are most certainly preparing me for all those changes. Before the dream, I laid in bed for a long time. Tears flowing copiously as I consider my relationship with Ahmad and my beloved children.

I Wailed In Bed Thinking That Ahmad Had Given Up On Me, Why? …

If Ahmad gives up on me that would mean that all the amazing work You have accomplished could be only a fantasy of mine and not true. That’s enough to make me wail in the agony of defeat.

But, O My Master! Though I Stumble In Agonizing Doubt And Fear Of Defeat …

You quickly grasp my hand to steady my steps. What a wonder! I woke up in wonder of Your meaning with such strange vivid dream. After a while I looked up the meaning. Your meaning straight to the point in mind. Quote:

To dream of a pocket-knife represents confidence that you can get rid of a problem should it arise. Preparedness.

The Problem With Ahmad? It Arose In My Mind Only, But!

Preparedness. I am prepared to get rid of all problems in my way. My confidence is set on You all the way. Therefore? You got rid of my problem this time with that strange dream of a pocket-knife.

I Waited On You For Solutions. You Came Through In That Dream …?

Ahmad is extremely sensitive of Your work in my life. He knows of the positive changes You are working for me. He is letting You do Your work. That’s why he is staying away from me. Wow!

Now What, My Master? Guess To Tackle That Reformatting Job? …

Saturday, October 26, 2019 at 1:32 am.

Well? You know that I am cold. Also, I have too many irons on the fire. Plus? Can’t quit thinking about the awful state of the apartment comes wintertime, and other problems that only You can take care of.

Help Me My Master! Get Those Irons Off The Fire In My Mind …

Yes! My mind is like a burning furnace always devouring wild imaginations of mine. Only the power of Your love and wisdom can get that fire under control. Maybe I’ll go to bed, if nothing else to warm up. I’ll see.

No Bed. Instead? Back To The Beginning …?

Saturday, October 26, 2019 at 5:58 am.

What beginning, my Master? The beginning from 27 years ago. The reminder of the best seven years You gave me. That was the time You gave me my first place of quiet and safety.

The Time Was October 21, 1986. You Promised Me That Place, And …?

You promised I was to be Your minister, Your mouthpiece if I separated the precious from the vile unwarranted auspiciousness about Your faithfulness.

I Responded Willing To Obey. Within 6 Weeks Your Promise Became My Reality …?

You placed me under the tutelage of my Honey—a senior gentleman of integrity. Seven years exactly, and? You took him away. Instead of bed, I searched and found the record. Quote:

On Sunday, the 18th day of October 1992 about 5 in the morning I heard him trying to cough and I hurried up to give him some ice chips and a few drops of morphine. As I did that, he spoke to me what was to be his last words, he said to me, “I love you.” He said nothing else. I remember comforting him, holding his hand, reading him the Scriptures. I remember my daughters Denise and Robin calling me by phone and I remember Genie coming in and sitting with him while I took a shower.

Then I remember being alone with him while Genie went to get dressed and I remember singing many songs to him while I held his hand. On his last moments he heard me sing to him, “When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be when we all see Yahushua and sing and shout the victory!” Then, he went into a coma. He was staring into the ceiling and Genie and I kept trying to close his eyes, but he wouldn’t close his eyes.

Suddenly! he took a long breath, and then another and with the last one… he closed his eyes, he was gone… The time was 12 minutes after 10 in the morning of that Sunday, October 18, 1992, exactly seven months since that 18th day of March, 1992 when I first took off with him towards the hospital…

There was a certain numbness that took a hold of me in a most peculiar way and I remember the wake and the funeral as if I was not really there. It seems to me that to this day, that numbness has persisted.

But, as I promised him, I know that Almighty Yahuwah kept me from falling apart with the assurance that my Honey’s spirit went to be with Almighty Yahuwah and my Honey was no longer suffering on these grounds but some day, when Almighty Yahuwah comes back to get us, my Honey shall rise first with the dead in Messiah. Thank Almighty Yahuwah for that assurance. Thank Almighty Yahuwah for my Honey’s salvation!

Then, everything happened really fast. I was packed and moved to Wilmington, North Carolina within 2 weeks. I left Westwego on November the 3rd and arrived in Wilmington on November the 4th. From there on my new life had begun. End of Quote.

And What A Life It Has Been …?

Lost. Destitute. Ill. Rejected. Abandoned. Struggling to fit in a world not meant for me to fit in, until? Your decreed time to end that period on Saturday, September 15, 2007 to be exact. Then? You told me,

“You Don’t Belong Here Any Longer!” And? Your Call On April 27, 2008 At 5:48 am.

Now? Wow! It’s 2019—my 80th year since my birth—the year of my jubilee. No longer Lost. Destitute. Ill. Rejected. Abandoned. Struggling to fit in a world not meant for me to fit in, but!

Perfectly Fitted In Your Presence …

Wow! Wow! Wow! O my Master! I am beginning to really like this tale of mine. So much tumult. So many turns all leading to my final destination—Your undeniable Presence in my life!

What An Enviable Life. What An Exciting Tale Has This Tale Of Mine Is Turning Out To Be …

Saturday, October 26, 2019 at 6:54 am.

Least to me. Will the rest of Your people catch up with my excitement? That’s Your work. My confidence is set on You. No need for marketing. No need for me to struggle to get Your people’s attention. Anyhow?

This World Is At The Peak Of Carnal Glory …

The children that we seniors raised are now in the mountain top of productivity and success. We should be proud and enjoy the limelight with them, but! How can we?

Seniors? Dementia No Potentia In The Limelight Of Success Is Our Plight …?

Saturday, October 26, 2019 at 1:19 pm.

True. There are seniors to be admired for their contribution to this world’s success, but! The average senior human? A problem not only for our children but also for the society of human beings.

So? In The Midst Of This Euphoric State Of Your People …

How can I expect for them to envy my life of mourning and weeping with joy inexplicable? It just not going to happen, but!

O The Mighty One Of Israel! His Banner Over Us Is Love!

Whether they envy my life or despise it is totally irrelevant for the progress of Your plan of restoration to the original intent for our creation!

So? No need to knock myself down with irrelevant concerns that only cause me pain and no gain. I’ll post this matter as soon as it’s ready. I am not to worry about any flatter.

Again and Again! O The Mighty One Of Israel His Banner Over Us Is Love!

I started to post today, but! It did not happen. You had other plans for me. As always it pays to flow with the wind of Your Spirit even when that wind roughens my tail while I sail.

Surprise Visit From Ahmad …

Sunday, October 27, 2019 at 1:03 pm.

He did not call all day long. Had forgotten about him. When I am creating graphics, I forget all about this world. Anyhow? He surprised me around 7 pm. He brought supper. We ate. We shared our hearts. He left. I got back to my graphics. Came 11:30 pm had to crash in bed, my eyes were closing up.

My Tale Is Never Stale. Open Book. Take A Look! …

It’s another day. I just don’t know how continue with my tale. I find myself stale! Not the first time, and? It won’t be the last. Anyhow? I ain’t worried about it. You’ll show me the way sooner or later.

Guess What? My Art Instructor Is Back! …

Sunday, October 27, 2019 at 4:48 pm.

It’s almost 5 pm on this Sunday. The graphic illustration just doesn’t connect with the post. I’m going to sleep. I’ll wait on You. And so?

Two hours later, I was sound sleep, but! A gentle touch. The sound of my name. I open my eyes, Ahmad! I exclaimed. I jumped out of bed! No pain I exclaimed again. What a surprise! But the best part?

Among His Many Talents Ahmad Is An Art Major, But! …

Monday, October 28, 2019 at 11:12 am.

Things have been so rough between us, it’s been a long time since I hear, “Basilia, no harmony!” Then the art lesson. Last night? Sure enough! He took one look at my colorful masterpiece and? No harmony again! Hahaha!

O What A Blessing! Thanks My Master! Making Artistic Progress For Your Honor …

I spent all the time since he left last night until now implement his lesson. The graphic illustration and my logo now connect. It’s all Your leading and direction, my Beloved Master; You are such a reality in my life!

Ready to post.

Enjoy! Deploy!

Much love to all. 

2 thoughts on “I’m Eighty But I Sure Don’t Feel My Age …?

Add yours

    1. I just changed the graphic. Looking for , “That’s good, Basilia! that’s harmony!” And I swell up! Only to deflate quicker than I inflate with my next colorful masterpiece! Hahaha! What a life!

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