From page 11
Monday, January 20, 2020 at 3:11 am.
You know that pain can drive a one insane. Is there humility in my request? Or am I demanding of You without fear or respect? Help me, my Master! have mercy. You always come through for me.
- You sent me to bed. You gave to sleep at 3:46 am. I dreamed of getting a telegram announcing my dead mom’s arrival, but I could not read the date or time. I read it to my children, but no one responded. Denise was coming to me, I said, ‘See if you can read the date and time?’ I woke up with no response from Denise either.
- I woke up thinking that I learned a visitation from our dead was not a good sign from You. Even so? It came to me that perhaps that was a message from You about the resurrection soon to take place. Went back to sleep until 5:52 am. Quote:
And many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake: some to everlasting life and some to shame and everlasting contempt and abhorrence. [Joh 5:29]
O My Master! You Are For Real! …
Monday, January 20, 2020 at 7:46 am.
The reality of Your Being in my life in every minute detail of my daily living is beyond the scope of emotional amazement if there is such expression to describe my state, my condition of thinking, of feeling right now.
No. I Am Not Elated. I Am Not Emotionally Inflated. I’m Steady. I’m Ready. I’m Prepared …?
Indeed! I am prepared for 2020. Enlightenment to prepare not to despair! Positive thinking? Fleeting emotions? Gone with the wind of Your conviction, my heartfelt repentance, and?
- Giving way to my child like state, my condition of life from now until eternity.
- Appropriately? Transforming my childlike being into the courageous woman You have made out of me.
Ha! The Weather Is Not Letting Up But! …
My past full of wondrous thoughts and fleeting elated feelings? It sure is letting up for good. My day started up with a calm, subdued talk to Ahmad.
On to page 13