“Therefore, my mind remained in the stronghold of the enemy for a couple more years. For the Scriptures says,
My people perish for lack of knowledge. My people are destroyed because they don’t know me, and it is all your fault, you priests, for you yourselves refuse to know me; therefore, I refuse to recognize you as my priests. Since you have forgotten my laws, I will “forget” to bless your children. Hosea 4:6(LBV).
“For a couple of years I lived a mixed life. For when I came back from Vegas I gave up the struggle to make a go of a life of financial success. I humbled myself and gave up all my pretensions. I turned in my car and my house. And I made up my mind to work and to live according to my means. I started to look for work other than barmaid’s work because whether good or bad or whether I or anybody approves or disapproves of it, in reality barmaid’s work and everything included to make a barroom business prosperous is against Almighty Yahuwah’s commandments period.
“I also started to look for an affordable place to live. But I was unable to find either work or a place to live. I could not find work for lack of self-esteem. And I could not find a place to live because of lack of work.
“I was like a “whipped dog” in the outskirts of Satan’s open territory, rather than a welcomed “prodigal child” in my Father’s house. I needed help and I realized that I could not make it alone. “And in ignorance on how to get help from Almighty Yahuwah I compromised all my Christian principles and I began to live a mixed life.
“To begin with I went to the Mental Health Center and turned myself in to receive assistance to acquire some skill to enable me to earn a living other than barmaid’s work. But since I needed money right away and I couldn’t find work I compromised and started to work at Mr. Coo’s barroom again.
“Of course, at the Mental Health Center I was diagnosed as disabled to work because of emotional problems and referred to the Rehabilitation Center for job training.
“But my emotional disability required much more than just job training. For I was far more disturbed that I, myself, had ever thought to be. And so, because of the severity of my emotional disability, when I was supposed to be learning a skill just to earn my living, I actually wanted to accomplish many unrealistic goals based on mere dreams and illusions of grandeur, which dreams were only a perversion of my true Almighty Yahuwah given gifts and abilities.