You know I sense something is amidst disturbing me. I have not seen Ahmad for a week now. I don’t want Ahmad’s or anyone’s behavior to affect me, but it does. Help me, my Master!
- I don’t think a visit or call from Ahmad now would make any difference.
- I sense You are teaching me a lesson, but I have yet to figure out what is it that I am to learn.
- Perhaps I am trying to act instead of being myself because I fear to cause Ahmad harm.
- Perhaps I fear to lose the computer and I won’t have any way to communicate with my family or with anyone else.
- What is my problem, my Master?
- I wait on You.
O Well! I Finally Got Me A Crying Spell …
Monday, April 13, 2020 at 5:37 pm.
Anger? Loneliness? Nobody loves me? O my Master! You know I needed to cry. Why? The doings of people affect me whether I care to ignore it or not. But! You got me through again.
- I felt anger towards Ahmad
- I felt neither he nor my own children love me.
- I felt anger because they said how much they love me but when it comes to physical fellowship? Nobody has the time to give to me.
- I began to feel my anger was towards You for not giving us what You have promised to give.
- I asked You to forgive me even when I know that You have repeatedly told me that regardless my feelings and thoughts of despair You will do as You have promised me to do.
- Suddenly! It came to mind: What merit will it be for Ahmad to fellowship with me in the future when You give him money and means to be what You call him to be? No merit.
- If he does not care to fellowship now when I most need it? In the future it will be the same even if he has money and means to be what You call him to be.
Wow! Your Wisdom Prevailed Again! …
Monday, April 13, 2020 at 6:20 pm.
Master? I have no right to judge Ahmad nor anyone else. But You know that I am human easily forgetting to let go, to be still, to wait while You are at work.
- Even so? You are in control of every minute detail in my life.
- You don’t leave at the mercy of my imaginations.
- You bring me back to let go, be still, wait, I am at work.
- No worries. All well with my soul again.
- I’m ready for a cup of coffee in Your Presence.
I Am So Blessed! The Minute You Bring Me To My Senses …?
Monday, April 13, 2020 at 11:29 pm.